I Know This Laywer

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the
stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs.

You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to
realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too,
has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a
drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire
state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with
menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail
within 3 minutes!"