36 things you'll never hear from a Redneck!

36 things you'll never hear from a Redneck...
1. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex "
2. "Duct tape won't fix that. "
3. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. "
4. "We don't keep firearms in this house. "
5. "You can't feed that to the dog. "
6. "I thought Graceland was tacky. "
7. "No kids in the back of the pick-up...it's not safe. "
8. "Professional wresslin's fake. "
9. "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? "
10. "We're vegetarians. "
11. "Do you think my hair is too big? "
12. "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy. "
13. "Honey, these bonsai trees need watering. "
14. "I don't understand the appeal of NASCAR. "
15. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds. "
16. "Deer heads detract from the decor. "
17. "Spitting is such a nasty habit. "
18. "I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. "
19. "Trim the fat off that steak. "
20. "Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. "
21. "The tires on that truck are too big. "
22. "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. "
23. "I've got it all on a floppy disk. "
24. "Unsweetened tea tastes better. "
25. "Would you like your fish poached or broiled? "
26. "My fiance is registered at Tiffany's . "
27. "I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. "
28. "She's too old to be wearing that bikini. "
29. "Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? "
30. "Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw " that we haven't seen. "
31. "I don't have a favorite college football team. "
32. "Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. "
33. "I believe you cooked those green beans too long. "
34. "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. "
35. "Elvis who? "
36. "Checkmate "

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