A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? " he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings. "
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A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago? "The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for. "
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A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated. "
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes? "The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything. "
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A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him. A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead. A bird in the hand is dead. A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose. A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun. A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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A Japanese guy is at Los
Angeles
International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to
Japan. While he's waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars.
He counts his money at the counter. "Wait a minute," he says to the clerk, "When I came here I got more dollars for my yen. What's going on here? "
"Fluctuations. " says the clerk.
The Japanese man stiffens. "Well! Fluck you Americans, too! "
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