I think Rover is getting a bit old...

"I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be going deaf. ""Bullshit, watch this... Rover sit! Oh dear, you're right, I'll get the shovel and clean it up! "

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The Sick Blonde...

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right? "
"Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train. "
"Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while? "
"I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there. "

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A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fi

A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire. They ask her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!. "

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Drunk walks into elevator...

Drunk walks into elevator, no elevator there, falls five stories down, lands on the bottom. Lies there a few seconds, slowly opens his eyes,and then says, "Dammit, I said UP."

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Drinking problem

Buford: Man, have you got a drinking problem! Mongo: The hell I do! Buford: The hell you don't! Mongo: I don't have a drinking problem. I drink... I get drunk... I fall down. No problem!

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