A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat. "How are you, Tom? " asked Marvin. "I'm not feeling well today - utterly exhausted," Tom replied. "I pulled a muscle and it's killing me. "
"That pulled muscle shouldn't make you so tired, though. "
"Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times.... "
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A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man! " Source, Miss Joke. com"
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"What's wrong, sonny? " asked the old timer sympathetically, coming over to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out. "I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do! " So the old man sat down and wept too."
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"Look at me. " an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. "I've aged like a fine old carefully stored wine. "
"I certainly have to agree with that. " piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. "Henry's cork's been stationary for years. "
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A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile.
"We don't even have an air conditioner. "
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