How you earned it

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. "
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars. "

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android

http://thiamlau.com

You will forget it

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's , they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going? " He replies, "To the kitchen. " She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream? " He replies, "Sure. " She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it? " He says, "No, I can remember that. " She then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that. " He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. " She replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down. " With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that. " He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast. "

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android

http://thiamlau.com

Sharing everything

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at Mc Donald's . He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50. " The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth. "

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android

http://thiamlau.com

A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm...

A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm when one day he walks out behind the barn and sees his grandfather playing with himself. The boy says, "What are you doing grandpa, jacking off? "Grandpa replies, "No sonny, just jacking! "

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android

http://thiamlau.com

How old are you?

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life? " "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise. " "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said."

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android

http://thiamlau.com