JOKES

If you marry one woman


If you marry one woman, She will fight with you.

But, if you marry 2 women, They will fight for you.

Think different. Add wife, have life

Never laugh at your wife's choices


Never laugh at your wife's choices

You are one of them

Never be proud of your choices

Your wife is one of them


Banta thought LOL meant ??


Banta thought LOL meant.?? Lots of Love.!! So....,

He sent it in the following text 2 his GIRL FRIEND -

You are the only girl in my life..LOL...

A guy sitting with his girlfriend


A guy sitting with his girlfriend, drinking beer says, "I love you".

Girl asks "Is it you or the beer talking?".

Boy replies, "Its me. Talking to my beer."

As per research


As per research

A man speaks 25,000 words daily & A woman speaks 30,000

Problem starts when husband comes home from office after consuming his 25,000 words

& wife starts her 30,000..

A lusty camel

A man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There was only one camel available, and it had one little problem, the guy told him. Periodically, this camel would stop and refuse to move until somebody beat it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he will go along with that. He sets off into the desert. Sure as hell, he has to beat off the camel every day for the first three days. On the fourth day, the camel stops again and refuses to move, so the guy gets down and prepares to do his duty, but the camel quickly steps aside. He tries again, And again. Finally in exasperation he walks in front of the camel and says "For Christ's sake, what do you want now? " The camel puckers up and makes little sucking noises."

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Various animal jokes

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in? " the man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone! " and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for? "

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A man in a state of excessive inebriation...

A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun. He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and after tying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he had scored three bulls eyes. The star prize for the evening was a large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead a consolation prize, a small, live turtle. The drunk wandered off into the crowd. An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than before. Once again the showman demurred, but once again the drunk insisted, and once more scored three bulls eyes and was given another turtle. Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third attempt. Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in the general direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three times. Once more he had scored three bulls eyes. But this time there was an onlooker with good eyesight. "That's fantastic ", the man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls? "The showman, cursing his luck, made a show of going over to the target and inspecting it closely. "Yes, sir! ", he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic! Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this magnificent 68-piece set of glassware! "
"I don't want any bloody glasses ", the drunk replied. "Give me another one of those little crusty meat pies! "

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A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus...

A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says "I'll bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus CAN'T play' The people in the bar look around, and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look,picks it up, tunes the string, and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the $50 Next, a guy comes up with a trumpet. The octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy pockets yet another $50. The bar owner has been watching all of this and disappears to the back. He comes back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, ' Now, if your octopus can play THAT, I'll give you $100. The octopus takes a long hard look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has yet another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes over and says 'What are you waitin' for? Hurry up and play that damn thing! The octopus says, 'Play it? Hell if I can work out how to get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna screw it!!"

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